New Challenges

So I moved to a new city, and as of this moment I'm still unsure if it was a good idea. I believe the reason I came here in the first place was to run away from my problems and while I knew that they would not just go away I thought that a new perspective on them would help. My true problems however lie within myself and until I address them I cannot succeed. Even though I have recently doubted my choice to move here I am not ready to give up. Right now I am lonely and I think it plays a large part in why I have been unhappy recently. That will pass in time, As I have learned throughout my life I am not good at dealing with breakups and perhaps I never will be but I will survive. My most pressing concern must be becoming a healthier person both physically and mentally. I have lived my life to this point depending too much on others and I must stop that. I accept that I do need other people sometimes but I must make the life I want to have for myself. No one is going to hand it to me. I have lost the momentum I had when I first arrived here and must find a way to rejuvenate myself. I may yet fail but I will not let it be because I allowed myself to.

About Me

I've always felt that I could achieve just about anything if I put my mind to it. The problem is that I never seem to be able to dedicate my self wholly to anything; even the thing I desperately want or need to succeed at. I am admittedly lazy, I have tried to break myself of this without much luck. No matter how excited or interested in something initially I lose interest and motivation eventually. This is easily my biggest character flaw, it has cost me a number of things that are important to me. I know this and yet as of now I have no idea how to change this about myself. I find this especially true at work. I like my job, I like what I do(as much as you can like work) and I think the people I work with are some of the best people I know. Yet more often I find my mind wandering and I can't concentrate on the simplest of tasks. I am sure part of this is because I am unsatisfied with some of the choices I have made that have brought me to this point in my life. I make no excuses, I am responsible for my life as it is now. Some choices I would change if I could; Some I would make a million times. But too much time spent dwelling on the past can be harmful. I have modest goals for my life. I want a 2 bedroom condo or house will a few luxuries but not many. I would like to have a family beyond myself and Hailey someday when I have the means to. I would like someone to share the ups and downs of life with; someone who occasionally will help me be strong enough to be the person I know I need to be and that I can do the same for. The last thing I want is for the people I love to be happy. Perhaps my goals are not as modest as I had earlier thought but I will achieve them someday. I am sure the road will not be easy but it's not supposed to be. That's what makes the journey worth it. I probably said more than I meant to and rambled on longer than I should have but I'm ok with that.

Whats On My Mind Right Now

I decided to write a blog mostly out of boredom but also on the off chance someone will read it. It isn't that I have anything truly important to say but I figure if I put what I am thinking onto some form of permanent or semi-permanent media then I can stop thinking about it for a moment or two. I was sitting up this morning killing time before I had to go to work when I came across a story about Tiger Woods' affairs. It isn't that I expect people to completely ignore a story like that but I the fact that I can't go to a news website or a sports website without seeing at least two or three articles about it. It's like somehow by cheating on his wife he let down all of his fans. I strongly disagree with that sentiment. It's not that I condone his actions but at the end of the day Tiger is a professional golfer; nothing more and nothing less. We should not expect that because he gets millions of dollars that he won't make mistakes that any human being to make. I fail to understand how it is always such a shock when a celebrity of any kind does something they shouldn't. The best part is that out of all of these people that are making such a big deal out of this that there are at least a few that have cheated on their own spouses. Wouldn't it be easier to let these people deal with their own mistakes? Maybe the reason it bothers me so much it that it reeks of jealousy and/or self-righteousness. Tiger Woods' infidelity isn't really any one's concern but his and his wife's regardless of our opinion.